How to sing higher without straining - STOP trying to "relax your voice" IF you sound like THIS...

How many times have you been told you need to "relax your throat and everything else" and have "no tension" when singing?  This kind of advice ALWAYS frustrated me when I was first learning to sing because it left me with no actionable step on what to do.

I would sing up to F4 which used to be my highest note...strain and just be told "yeah you're straining, relax more!"  Then I'd just flip into falsetto because I was too relaxed.

I didn't know what to do.  I could only either choke and strain...or flip into falsetto.

The best thing for my brain was removing the word "relax" lol.

So I don't think of trying to "relax" a voice...instead I pinpoint what's weak in the voice, or what coordination is overactive and then I strengthen the weaker side of the coin so to speak until the balance is even.

Singing requires muscular effort.  Heck, even STANDING requires muscular effort.  But when you stand up, because it's so easy, you think "I'm just relaxed".

This is why I don't like the term "relaxed" in singing.  Because it only feels easy and relaxed once you are so strong that you don't feel like you're exerting yourself.  However, the journey to GET to that point involves A LOT OF MUSCULAR EFFORT and UGLY sounds.

I'm gonna show you a bit of that journey in today's video.

Singing is just like ballet or gymnastics, where you need tremendous strength FIRST before you can use that strength for grace and artistic movements.

Just because you strain doesn't mean you need to relax more.  Often times you're straining because you're simply lacking strength in the right areas, or miscoordinating the strength...so you struggle to engage the muscles needed, and that struggle you perceive as strain...and then you perceive any kind of strain as "tension that needs to be relaxed".

I think the word "relax everything" is a cop out answer for not really knowing how to pinpoint WHY someone is straining.

When someone strains or is struggling with their singing, I can pinpoint directly what is weak in their voice or what is overdeveloped and then prescribe certain vocal exercises to balance out those issues.  The result is greater vocal range, freedom, ease, consistency and confidence in your voice.